My Own Understanding

by BetsyFaith, LifePosted on 3 Comments

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths. –Proverbs 3:5-6

I’ve known these verses practically since I could talk; unfortunately, sometimes when things become too commonplace in my mind, I tend to overlook the most conspicuous concepts. I have often become hung up on the “trust in the Lord” part, focusing on what that looks like in my day-to-day life. I can’t always articulate what I need to do in those times when “trust in the Lord” comes to my mind. What am I to do? Or, what am I not to do? I’ve often returned to the concept that I cannot mess up God’s plan, no matter what I choose in a challenging situation. He uses everything to work together in a most intricately brilliant fashion to bring about the necessary results.

I’ve come to the point of looking beyond the first clause of the sentence to decipher what trusting with all my heart might look like. A theme with which I’ve been wrestling this year is “lean not on your own understanding.” I have no trouble identifying what that looks like in my life; it’s only natural that as human beings, we tend to use prior knowledge and experience to make decisions and form hypotheses of sorts. I rely heavily on my own understanding–but here it clearly guides me not to lean on it. When I link this clause with the previous one, it becomes much clearer that a vital pillar in the structure of trusting the Lord is not to give ultimate credence to what I think I know or can predict or assume to be true or expected. That’s not a simple task, and like so many others, I anticipate I’ll be continuously learning to lean elsewhere for my understanding–on the only reliable source.

When I don’t know what to think or believe or choose, and I discount my own understanding, I sit in that abysmal place of indecision and pray for direction. When I don’t have a concrete plan in place and no viable option seems to stand out among the rest, what can I do? I can finish reading the verse, for starters: “In all your ways acknowledge Him…” What does that mean in the context of the situation at hand? I find peace in acknowledging His sovereignty; He has always come through, sometimes in the most unexpected ways. My encouragement for the new year is this: 1. Hide His Word in my heart. 2. Don’t overvalue my own understanding. 3. Find peace in His sovereignty.

Change Your World

by BetsyFaith, LifePosted on No Comments

As someone who has wrestled to master my thoughts all of my life, I constantly come back to the drawing board to find a better way to keep my focus on the glass being half full. In other words, I attempt to consciously choose optimism. This is a perpetual struggle for me; I’m always warring with some form of reverse psychology on myself. I shy away from hoping for the best to avoid some strange power of “jinxing” the outcome, which is ironic because I don’t believe that really happens. I would tell someone else that that isn’t a real possibility, so look on the bright side, but then I find myself not listening to my own advice. 

“Change your thoughts, and you will change your world.”

When I was a kid, my mother had several children’s tapes with songs about faith: Patch the Pirate, Psalty the Singing Songbook, etc. We listened to them all the time at home and in the car. One of the songs has surfaced in my mind multiple times over the years. I’m not sure if this was its actual title or not, but the main repeated line was, “Change your thoughts, and you will change your world.” As a youngster, I believed in my childlike mind that it was a simple mantra that everybody must be following. As I got older, I began to realize that the decision to change one’s thoughts became increasingly difficult as more complications and trials of life interfered. 

“Deceit is in the heart of them that imagine evil; but to the counsellors of peace is joy.”

Because I believe that I will one day answer for my decisions in this life, I take my free will very seriously. When I choose to let my thoughts plummet into the pit of pessimism, I struggle to change that trajectory and focus on being grateful, although I feel that this is the first step to changing that pattern. Some days, I find it extremely difficult to make that choice, and I know that this is something I will most likely wrestle with all my days. People often focus on changing the world by supporting major causes like eradicating hunger and anti-human-trafficking initiatives, which are great causes, of course. I can’t help but wonder if we as individuals were to change our personal “worlds” of thought…how much of an impact that would have. I have to pray for power over my own unruly mind much of the time, but I believe it will become easier to overhaul my thoughts over time. Proverbs 12:20 says, “Deceit is in the heart of them that imagine evil; but to the counsellors of peace is joy.” I am striving toward the peace and joy. 

A Tree of Life

by BetsyParentingPosted on No Comments

As I recently watched a popular reality show on television, I was struck by how many contestants shared about pursuing their dreams but had no faith that they could ever attain them. After a few of them shared heartbreaking stories from their past, I was amazed as was anyone watching that these young people had overcome such obstacles to perform for the world. But it didn’t stop there. Contestant after contestant humbly approached the stage and shared some of the most amazing talent in the world. Their humility was endearing, but the fact that people in many of their lives had undermined, belittled and berated them was devastating. When someone with an angelic voice doesn’t realize the caliber of his or her talent, there is most definitely something awry. I began to wonder, Whose approval were you unable to achieve? Who told you that you were good for nothing?  Who said you would never amount to anything?

…everything we say or write has an impact on someone.

As someone who knows what it’s like to struggle with self-worth, I can honestly say that words are truly powerful in shaping how we see ourselves. I don’t think anyone would disagree with that, but I want to draw awareness to the fact that practically everything we say or write has an impact on someone. I have been on the receiving end of derogatory comments as most of us have at some point in our lives, hateful words that were hurled in anger due to someone else’s own inner struggle.

Whatever sin has been committed against us should not be allowed to crush someone else’s spirit, especially a child’s.

As a child, I took such comments very personally, which had a profound impact on how I viewed myself; I had no comprehension that every one of us has something broken within us that we typically express in some fashion, and not often positively. Proverbs 15:4 says, “The soothing tongue is a tree of life, but a perverse tongue crushes the spirit.” Whatever sin has been committed against us should not be allowed to crush someone else’s spirit, especially a child’s.

…nothing I could do was going to change how other people behaved.

There seems to be an ever-growing need for people to express themselves by the most obnoxious means possible, and often just for the sake of being obnoxious. In my introduction to psychology class back in college, I remember learning that anger is a secondary emotion; it is spawned by fear, pain, angst, or whatever brokenness lurks within one’s soul. Whenever I experienced the hurt from a verbal attack, I took it to heart; I developed the mindset shaped by my thoughts: There must be something wrong with me. I will try harder, so people won’t get mad at me. I will earn their approval. Of course, nothing I could do was going to change how other people behaved. But children don’t know that.

No more excuses. Stop the cycle. Identify the root cause. Address the problem. Finding a healthy means of dealing with our own baggage isn’t easy, and unfortunately, I see more people today lashing out at others like I’ve never witnessed in my lifetime. Of course, the introduction of social media has empowered even the most reserved introvert to take to the public page what would rarely be said to one’s face. Some say this behavior is therapeutic. I am sure it is…but for whom? And at what cost? How about getting a notebook? Journaling has been shown to be therapeutic, and the rest of the world doesn’t have to be affected by the fallout.

…they each have value, they have a purpose in life, and they can achieve their dreams.

I’ve seen a meme in recent years that refers to the positive effects of speaking kindly to plants and how impactful it would be if we intentionally spoke positively to children. Imagine the confidence this next generation could take into their future if they were brought up to believe that they each have value, that they have a purpose in life, and that they can achieve their dreams. Perhaps there’d be fewer lives lost to addiction and more cures for diseases discovered. It seems like an indomitable task to turn the tide, but maybe if we start by sincerely encouraging a child, or anyone really, even once a day, each pebble of praise would cause a ripple that could change someone’s life.