“N” is for “Now is Christ risen from the dead…”

by BetsyFaithPosted on No Comments

It’s been about eight months since I last wrote–much has taken place in this time. When I look back at the last post I’d written in June of last year, I am particularly smitten by the remarks regarding the potter and the clay–how sometimes the potter has to crush the clay because of some flaw and rework it from scratch. Little did I know of the crushing that was about to take place.

I struggle to secure the right words to adequately express what I need to say–I typically resort to analogies and the like, but I’m at a significant loss this time. The unexpected loss of my sweet infant granddaughter has left an indelible mark on me, and I’m still wending my way along life’s path. As a parent, and specifically a mother, I have always strived to fix things in my child’s life. When fixing is not an option, I spiral into places that have no visible exit sign, and all I can do is fall down in expectant silence before God. 

It’s been about eight months since I last wrote–much has taken place in this time. When I look back at the last post I’d written in June of last year, I am particularly smitten by the remarks regarding the potter and the clay–how sometimes the potter has to crush the clay because of some flaw and rework it from scratch. Little did I know of the crushing that was about to take place.

When I look back over these last eight months, I see God’s transforming power revealed in my son’s life. I’ve prayed, somewhat hesitantly, over the years that He will do whatever He must to draw my child closer to Him. I think every parent who has prayed this prayer does so with reservation because we know that it may require circumstances that we don’t want to see in our children’s lives, but nevertheless are necessary to the revelation of God’s will. 

I’ve seen a miraculous alteration in my son since this ordeal last summer. He has chosen to embrace his faith rather than bitterness at the loss of his infant daughter. I can’t even type these words without choking back the tears. God has taken ahold of my son’s life in ways I couldn’t even have imagined. My heart has broken for his pain and his wife’s pain and all of the hopes and desires tied into the entrance of a newborn life into this world only to have it wrenched abruptly away. 

I held my sweet baby granddaughter only once, the night before she went into the arms of Jesus at just two weeks old. When I think about those precious moments, I can’t articulate the emotions that flood over my soul. I still keenly feel the pain, and I know my children must deal with it daily, and likely every moment of every day. There’s a powerlessness that overwhelms me, leaving no option but to continue to fall down at the feet of Jesus and ask Him to continue to carry them (and me) forward. 

They are now expecting another baby girl. I long to feel the exhilaration of expectancy and anticipation of last year at this time, but it’s tainted, of course. I can’t articulate an analogy to what I feel because there’s nothing parallel to which to compare these mixed emotions. I am resolved to embrace the excitement of a new life joining us once again, however, consciously choosing to be elated rather than wallowing in worry. I must accept that God’s love is constant regardless of the circumstances of this life, and observing how my son has so dramatically changed through this time fuels my faith to keep moving forward. So I’m continuing to write to my expected granddaughter; she will need to know about her family’s faith amidst the most devastating events in life. 

I’d left off at “N” in the children’s book of Bible verses. 1 Corinthians 15:20 says, “(Now) Christ has indeed been raised from the dead, the firstfruits of those who have fallen asleep.” This verse expresses the basics of our faith–all of it depends on the fact that Christ rose from the dead. The second half of this verse refers to those who have already “fallen asleep.” Because God raised Jesus from the dead, He has paved the way for us to join Him in Heaven forever. I know I will see my precious Ariella again when I step over Heaven’s threshold one day, and I look forward with the greatest anticipation of meeting my next grandbaby in a few months.

“L” is for “Look to Me…”

by BetsyFaithPosted on No Comments

“Look to Me, and be saved, all you ends of the earth! For I am God, and there is no other.” –Isaiah 45:22

I have just come through yet another time of transition in my life–for nearly three months I have been “homeless” as I’ve had to rely on the generosity of friends and family for the roof over my head. After conceding to the fact that my renovated home was not ready when my apartment lease ran out, I initially approached this time with energy and optimism thinking that I’d be in my house in a couple of weeks…but as the weeks wore on, my momentum wore out. If I’d known in the beginning that I still wouldn’t be settled three months later, I don’t know how I would have survived. Sometimes it’s better not to know what lies ahead.

Isaiah 45:22–This verse reminds me of when Moses erected the bronze snake on the pole in Numbers 21. The Israelites had been murmuring against the Lord, and consequently had been smitten with a plague of poisonous serpents. They eventually confessed their sin and begged Moses to intercede with the Lord on their behalf. “Then the LORD said to Moses, ‘Make a fiery serpent and mount it on a pole. When anyone who is bitten looks at it, he will live.’ So Moses made a bronze snake and mounted it on a pole. If anyone who was bitten looked at the bronze snake, he would live” (Numbers 21:8-9). The Lord is righteous; He demands justice for sin. He also is merciful; He provides a way through the consequences of sin–but we first have to repent.

This Old Testament event must have been momentous to say the least. Imagine a plague of snakes overtaking society as we know it, with no reprieve, and knowing that we had brought it on ourselves…hmmm–could that happen in modern times? Maybe not snakes, but contemplate the metaphor. Back to the point I’m trying to make: we often do not see a problem transformed instantaneously like this moment when God provided a means of remedy for the horrible situation; it is enough to know that He can. Most of the time, we are plagued by problems that drag on for days, weeks, months, or even years. If there is no bronze snake to look to, how do we cope? How do we wake up every morning and press on?

This question brings me to the principle upon which I have been meditating over the past three months. “Give us this day our daily bread” has been on the lips of my mind nearly every day. I am reminded of how God provided manna for His people in the wilderness–just enough for the day at hand (Exodus 16:11-21). This concept has been difficult for me to accept as I’m sure it is for many others. I want to be prepared for the future; I want to know what to expect and not to be surprised by unanticipated problems. Yet, for 40 years the Lord provided for His people on a daily basis, and they came to expect His provision. I would hope that I wouldn’t take 40 years to learn to trust, but as I’m approaching 50, I realize that there are plenty of lessons with which I’m still wrestling. I’m still persevering to “Look to [the Lord]” as the verse states, and how not only to survive on His daily “manna,” but also how to hunger for it and thrive on it.

“K” is for “Keep your tongue…”

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“Keep your tongue from evil, and your lips from speaking deceit.” –Psalm 34:13

Words are powerful. When people wield these weapons, they can use words to tear others apart or build them up to do great things. When I was a child, I remember hearing others say, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.” This is probably one of the most blatant misconceptions in existence. Words can leave some of the deepest scars known to mankind.

Predictably, it is the people we love the most who wield the most power when it comes to words. If someone we don’t know says something hateful to us, it’s much easier to ignore or overlook the comment rather than take it to heart. What do they know anyway? People who spew toxicity from their mouths obviously have much deeper wounds themselves that they are evading. On the other hand, when someone we care about deeply berates us or otherwise tears us down verbally, they inflict intense pain that can’t be easily remedied, and the receiver’s heart becomes an open wound. Conversely, a kind word or sincere encouragement can propel a person to a place of stability, peace, or even confidence to achieve the most in life.

Withstanding verbal abuse, particularly for children, is not easy; it is often coupled with emotional and mental abuse, and in very toxic situations, various levels of physical abuse. Speaking evil is connected to what is in our hearts. Matthew 15:18 states, “But the things that come out of the mouth come from the heart, and these things defile a man.” Another saying is, “Hurt people hurt people.” In other words, those who have been hurt tend to inflict hurt on others. This corresponds with the sentiment that “Misery loves company.” People often lash out verbally as a defense mechanism to protect themselves or to hurt someone else before someone else can hurt them. Sin begets sin; the hurt lives on and multiplies. 

In order to “Keep your tongue from evil,” whether generated from someone else’s words or your own thoughts, you may have to address a deep-rooted problem in your life. Maybe you have been able to suppress those hateful words from escaping your lips, but you are inundated with the corresponding thoughts. I tend to reflect on the origin of such thoughts, like “Why is this making me so upset?” or “Why does this person’s comment have such power over me?” Focusing on the truth of the Word of God is the only foundation for finding not necessarily answers, but peace. 

Please don’t mistake my meaning; I am not saying I’m exempt from this vice. I have wielded my own broken, hurtful shards at others on occasion throughout my life. In the process, however, I’ve learned I don’t ever want others to feel that pain if I can help it, and definitely not at my hand. I can’t protect all the people I care about from ever experiencing hateful words, but I endeavor to do all I can in adhering to this verse.

“H” is for “He leads me…”

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“He lets me lie down in green pastures: He leads me beside still waters.” –Psalm 23:2

As a child I had learned the song, “I have the joy, joy, joy, joy down in my heart,” and one of the verses included the line, “I have the peace that passes understanding down in my heart.” It was a fun line to sing when I was little, but I really had no concept of what it meant till much later. There’s a peace that surpasses our human capacity to describe; I have since experienced this many times over the years. It is analogous to the tranquility of lying in a lush green meadow beside a quiet lake, as this week’s verse describes. Referring back to my shepherding days again, I picture the sheep lying contentedly in the field complacently chewing whatever it was they’d chew for days, and their heavy eyelids falling drowsily as they relaxed in utter peace. 

God made us different from the animals, however. I can imitate sheep and lie peacefully in a field, but in reality, I may be subtly stressed out in my mind, pondering the events of the day or worrying about the possibilities of the next. Giving these thoughts over to God is a life-long learning process. I have mentioned before that I have handed problems over to Him on many occasions only to immediately take them back into my own hands. It usually depends on what I consider to be the severity of the issue; surely, something that is my responsibility requires my attention to worry, or at least, that’s what my mind tries to convince me. God doesn’t need to be bothered with my every dilemma; He holds the entire world, the universe, in His hands, so why should I expect Him to pay attention to my often petty and irrelevant concerns? Because He loves us so very much–how do I know? Well, to quote another childhood song, “The Bible tells me so.”

The first passage that comes to mind is Luke 12:6-7, which reads in the NLT, ““What is the price of five sparrows—two copper coins? Yet God does not forget a single one of them. And the very hairs on your head are all numbered. So don’t be afraid; you are more valuable to God than a whole flock of sparrows.” This idea of God’s omniscience, His complete sovereignty over everything, including individual birds, reveals a credence that is extremely difficult to grasp for us as human beings. Children seem to have an easier time accepting this attribute of God. If the Bible says, He knows how many hairs grow out of our heads, then who are we to question Him? Of course, the older we get, the more challenging it is for us to trust God with whatever we may be wrestling with. 

In 1 John 3:20, John wrote, “Even if our own hearts condemn us (with guilt), God is greater than our feelings, and He knows everything.” Allowing Him to dictate truth in the midst of our hardships when we are trying to control the situation in our own strength can be very difficult indeed; nevertheless, trusting Him and His Word over our feelings is what we are called to do. Again, it usually isn’t easy, but it is the way to this peace that passes understanding.

The entire passage of Psalm 23 is a beautiful picture of God as our Good Shepherd. From protecting us in “the valley of the shadow of death” to providing comfort with His “rod and staff,” the imagery produces a sense of peace and safety like nothing we can otherwise understand. Verse 3 begins with, “He restores my soul.” This verse reminds me again of Revelation 21:5 that says, “Behold, I make all things new.” When I can abide in the knowledge of the sovereign Creator Who loves, guides, and protects me, that is where I find the peace that I can’t put into words. Dear child, I pray that you will experience it early on as well.

“G”– “God is our refuge…”

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“God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.”–Psalm 46:1

Sometimes, life deals blows that feel beyond hopeless that there’s any way to salvage some semblance of contentment ever again. It’s debilitating when our world falls apart. I can attest to this sense of hopelessness, helplessness, and vulnerability. In these times, it seems even more difficult to accept that God has everything under control, primarily because His plan isn’t necessarily obvious, and what I think makes sense is nonexistent. I have often struggled with trusting His sovereignty in these times despite what I know to be true.

One of the most challenging times in my life was when I found myself in a position that I’d never imagined I’d be in–raising a child by myself. I had placed my trust in a person who was not deserving of my trust, and once I began down that road, I couldn’t find a way to detour at all. That man stole from me, taking what didn’t belong to him without my permission, and rather than run the other way, I blamed myself for being in the predicament and accepted it as my fate. God intervened, however, and after even more painful experiences, I was finally free from him and focused on raising my son in peace, though I was very much alone. Unfortunately, there are always consequences for the decisions we make.

I know much of what I’m saying here may seem vague–what I want you to understand is that sometimes God allows the mountains in our lives so that we will believe when He moves them. I could not see how life could continue after the mess I’d made, and that wasn’t the only one I’d make, of course. It’s taken this much of my life to even begin trusting God as my refuge and relying on Him for my strength. He is present in the midst of our trouble. He never leaves or forsakes us (Hebrews 13:5). Even when it seems He is unaware of our situation, we can trust that He is in the midst of it, working even our worst mistakes for our good. 

“F”–“For the wages of sin…”

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“For the wages of sin is death; but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.” –Romans 6:23

Wages–a payment, recompense, or reward. We usually think of a reward as something desirable or good, but in the context of this verse, the term is more synonymous with recompense, which has to do with paying a debt. This verse is my earliest recollection of learning the word, wages, and so for many years I only associated the term with paying for something I’d done wrong. The first clause in this verse is about as straightforward as can be; thankfully, it doesn’t end there. It really just states the reason why the second half is so critical–we’d have no hope were it not for the “gift of God” mentioned in part B.

A few chapters prior to this one in Romans (3:23), Paul wrote, “For all have sinned and come short of the glory of God.” This verse sets the stage for what Paul says here regarding the wages of sin. None of us are exempt from this consequence, and this is what makes our faith so relevant to everyone, though not everyone is willing to acknowledge the existence of sin or God or both. The premise that we are all sinful is blatantly obvious; just look anywhere in history and in current events, and most conspicuously, in our own hearts. We all are flawed; even the “best” person we know sins. 

So what about part B? What can we do about our dismal fate? WE can’t do anything ourselves, but God in His love for us provided a way out–a means of salvation. He gave His only Son to pay those wages we can’t pay. Jesus is the only one Who could pay this debt because He is sinless. Paul wrote in 2 Corinthians 5:21(NLT), “For God made Christ, who never sinned, to be the offering for our sin, so that we could be made right with God through Christ.” The challenging part for many of us is the concept that it’s a gift; the only way to salvation is accepting that gift. I pray even before you are born, little one, that you will accept this gift in your younger years, when childlike faith can open your heart to the most precious gift you will ever receive. 

“D” is for “Draw near…”

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“Draw near to God, and He will draw near to you.” –James 4:8

This verse seemed so attainable to me as a child; I remember having such a simple faith that allowed me to just accept that I could pray anytime, anywhere, and He would hear me. I had no doubt that I had His complete and unwavering attention. As I got older, though, and life began to reveal its undesirable potential, I often found myself drawing closer to other things–not to my loving, sovereign God.

Several years ago when I was studying to become a teacher, I remember being introduced to a graphic organizer for learning about analogies, and one of the concepts for students to consider about an idea was “what it is not.” In other words, exploring the concepts that may seem to correspond with the chosen idea, but in reality are anything from a close misconception to a complete opposite of the desired concept. I have since pondered applying this idea of “what it is not” to walking by faith. If I’m not drawing near to God, then I’m drawing near to something He is not–either something I don’t perceive as bad and often unintentionally replacing Him in my life, or something completely wrong that is counterproductive to everything He wants for me in my life. 

This idea also corresponds with being grateful–when I focus on what I have and the many blessings I have enjoyed and continue to enjoy and look forward to enjoying, I experience a peace and contentment that is not common in this life, though it is always there if I just choose it. When I focus on what is not there, i.e. what I don’t have and continually long for, I am miserable and prone to live in a perpetual state of dissatisfaction. It seems a basic concept, yet I’ve struggled with keeping the priorities of my focus in order! My challenge to you, my sweet blessing of a grandchild, is to cling to your childlike faith throughout life. Be encouraged that we all struggle, yet God is always near, whether we “feel” it or not.

Now for a real-life example: I pray every week for guidance in what to write to you, and this morning prior to the church service, there was the usual scrolling of pictures on the screens while people were getting seated. One of those pictures was of a group of preschoolers in a classroom, some of them with their arms raised and all with smiles on their faces. I immediately was transported back about ten years to a time when I was helping out in a nursery at a church I’d attended for many years. A little boy about three years old was chatting up a storm in the next room over, and his voice sounded so much like my little boy had sounded at that age that I suddenly found myself overwhelmed, and unwelcomed hot tears streamed down my cheeks. I withdrew to the restroom to pull myself together because I didn’t want people to know how much I had yearned for more babies, to experience family in all of its wonderfulness. I’d struggled so long to accept that this long-held desire was apparently not God’s plan for me. It was easy to traipse down this road toward self-pity and wallow in my pain. 

But God (there’s that phrase again…) had given me this incredible son to raise, and though I couldn’t always see it at the time, raising him brought me such contentment and fulfillment in my life that I didn’t always appreciate my situation as much as I wish I had back then. Looking back now, I can see the blessing he was to me, and God knew what He was doing. God always knows what He is doing. I constantly try to get back to that place of childlike faith and draw near to God–letting go of how I think things should be and accepting how He has orchestrated them. It’s a journey; I am grateful that He has brought me through that vulnerability to a stability that only He can give. That is only one of the many long-term shifts in perspective through which He has guided me; I hope to share many more with you in the months and years to come. 

“C” is for “Children…”

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“Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right.” –Ephesians 6:1

I struggled with where to begin on this one; there are so many angles from which to approach. Each page in the ABC book includes a brief paragraph on the side to help children understand better, so I decided to start there. This one points out that obeying one’s parents may not always be easy, but it is right. It continues by saying that God has planned for children to have a mother and father to love and care for them. Upon reading this, I instantly knew where to begin.

God’s design for this world became blemished when Adam and Eve sinned, and all of us followed suit, resulting in the flawed world in which we live. The innocence of youth is eventually tainted by our experiences in this world. I had always dreamed as most little girls do of getting married and having a family; eventually, as I matured I imagined creating memories of hayrides and holidays around fireplaces and camping trips–the whole “Currier & Ives” meets “Precious Moments” lookbook. I never dreamed of being a single mother and struggling to raise a child alone–more like Paradise Lost meets Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No-Good, Very Bad Day. 

As a little girl, I tried to obey my parents as I should, but as I mentioned last time, I also formed this paradigm in my mind that being good would ensure everything working out as it should, aka, the way I wanted it to. I’m still learning that everything works out as it should because God uses the many layers of incidents, choices, relationships, and everything else in our lives for our good–to those who love Him (Rom. 8:28). Fast forward to my young adulthood, I started seeing that circumstances weren’t always turning out how I’d expected, which opened my mind to the possibility that maybe it didn’t necessarily matter how I acted since being good wasn’t panning out. 

I eventually questioned what my motivation was in doing good, but in the interim, I made some foolish choices that laid out the trajectory of my life to come. On the other hand, I also learned that my making mistakes didn’t mean that God was no longer in control; He always knew what I was going to do and loved me anyway. He showed me that I couldn’t mess up His plan. 

All that to say, obeying one’s parents and following the Bible in general must be for the right reasons–to bring glory to God, not to achieve something via earning brownie points. By following His Word, we show our love and devotion to Him. Life is unpredictable; trusting God with our “going out” and our “coming in” (Ps. 121:8) is the only way to find peace and really find purpose in this life. I could write an entire book (maybe even a trilogy!) on the tapestry God has woven in my life despite all of the chaos, drama, and sin–as I get older, it comforts me to see some of the beauty that has arisen amidst the destruction I’ve inadvertently created and endured. Not in vain does He allow the pain that we bring upon ourselves. 

Hidden in my heart

by BetsyFaithPosted on No Comments

When I was very young, I participated in a program under BMA (Bible Memory Association) that focused on memorizing a verse each week from a publication they had released. The verses were in alphabetical order based on the first letter of each verse, with a few exceptions for some of the more obscure letters like “X” and “Z.” I was unable to find an original copy of the book, but I found one similar from another publisher that is almost identical. With the approach of the birth of my first grandchild (in roughly 26 weeks), I want to revisit a verse in this book each week and share something I’ve learned or clung to, having “hidden” each of these verses in my young heart so many years ago. My hope is to convey something personal and meaningful to her and perhaps share in establishing the same rock solid foundation for her that I was blessed to have in my youth.

I always remembered the picture of the lamb included with the first verse in the book, but I’d forgotten the tear rolling down its cheek. The lamb had wandered off and was lost, and that was why it was sad. Even in my young mind I knew that being lost was a terrible place to be. One of my earliest memories–I was about three years old–involved being dropped off at the house of my babysitter when my mother was helping out in the lunchroom at my brother’s school. I had been dropped off many times, apparently without incident, but the time I recall was when I tried to open the door and it was locked. I banged my little fists on the door and cried and cried, but no one came for what seemed like hours to me. I remember turning back toward the road, looking for someone to help, but no one came. Someone finally opened the door of the house and brought me in, but I don’t remember that at all–only the traumatic experience of being locked out and alone. 

I never wanted my child to experience that terror that I remembered. Though I didn’t consciously think about it, I always had a built-in sense that I needed to physically see my son safely inside any place I took him; he never had to knock and wait for admittance at daycare or school or wherever. Looking back, I believe it’s because of my own experience and consequent determination that no one, particularly my child, should ever have to feel so afraid, especially at such a young age. I believe the lessons we keep from our youth impact us throughout our lives; I will endeavor to explore some of the important ones from my experience in the weeks ahead.

My Own Understanding

by BetsyFaith, LifePosted on 3 Comments

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths. –Proverbs 3:5-6

I’ve known these verses practically since I could talk; unfortunately, sometimes when things become too commonplace in my mind, I tend to overlook the most conspicuous concepts. I have often become hung up on the “trust in the Lord” part, focusing on what that looks like in my day-to-day life. I can’t always articulate what I need to do in those times when “trust in the Lord” comes to my mind. What am I to do? Or, what am I not to do? I’ve often returned to the concept that I cannot mess up God’s plan, no matter what I choose in a challenging situation. He uses everything to work together in a most intricately brilliant fashion to bring about the necessary results.

I’ve come to the point of looking beyond the first clause of the sentence to decipher what trusting with all my heart might look like. A theme with which I’ve been wrestling this year is “lean not on your own understanding.” I have no trouble identifying what that looks like in my life; it’s only natural that as human beings, we tend to use prior knowledge and experience to make decisions and form hypotheses of sorts. I rely heavily on my own understanding–but here it clearly guides me not to lean on it. When I link this clause with the previous one, it becomes much clearer that a vital pillar in the structure of trusting the Lord is not to give ultimate credence to what I think I know or can predict or assume to be true or expected. That’s not a simple task, and like so many others, I anticipate I’ll be continuously learning to lean elsewhere for my understanding–on the only reliable source.

When I don’t know what to think or believe or choose, and I discount my own understanding, I sit in that abysmal place of indecision and pray for direction. When I don’t have a concrete plan in place and no viable option seems to stand out among the rest, what can I do? I can finish reading the verse, for starters: “In all your ways acknowledge Him…” What does that mean in the context of the situation at hand? I find peace in acknowledging His sovereignty; He has always come through, sometimes in the most unexpected ways. My encouragement for the new year is this: 1. Hide His Word in my heart. 2. Don’t overvalue my own understanding. 3. Find peace in His sovereignty.