“W” is for “We love Him because…”

by BetsyFaith, ParentingPosted on No Comments

“We love him, because he first loved us.”–1 John 4:19

I don’t think I really had any idea about God’s love for me until I had a child of my own–not that I have ever or will ever fully grasp the depth of His love, but I can understand just enough through having a child. As a parent, there’s an element of unconditional acceptance of one’s children. Under most circumstances, children reciprocate the love they receive from their parents; it’s nearly a preordained concept. This relationship translates to us as children of our Father, God.

A few days ago, I was texting my son who had recently become a father; he alluded to the love he has for his newborn baby in this way: “I love her so much, it hurts.” I responded, “Like I love you.” My son, who is fatherless, has such an innate desire for fatherhood. He loves his baby girl with an intensity and tenacity that surpasses any selfish desire he may face. Isn’t it just like God to wire us in such ways that allow us to grow in the capacity we require? My son hasn’t known the love of a father, but he can now find some semblance of understanding how God loves us. 

In a recent conversation with my sister, she alluded to her relief that her son has bypassed a particularly difficult phase that caused her perpetual uneasiness for some time. In turn, I reflected on how so many times through the years I had been unable to focus on anything in my own life when my son was experiencing any type of turmoil in his. As parents, the focus of our lives revolves around our children and their wellbeing. When that focus is disrupted by daily struggles or even trauma or tragedy, everything else takes a back burner, so to speak. Progress in any direction is put on hold until the problem is resolved, or at least is brought to some form of closure. 

I have tried to imagine how God looks at us, His children, knowing of our weaknesses and propensity for sin. His answer was to provide His perfect Son, Jesus, to pay the price for all of us. Again, parenting has allowed me to just catch a mere glimpse of how God loves us and to provide the impetus for my loving Him in return.

“N” is for “Now is Christ risen from the dead…”

by BetsyFaithPosted on No Comments

It’s been about eight months since I last wrote–much has taken place in this time. When I look back at the last post I’d written in June of last year, I am particularly smitten by the remarks regarding the potter and the clay–how sometimes the potter has to crush the clay because of some flaw and rework it from scratch. Little did I know of the crushing that was about to take place.

I struggle to secure the right words to adequately express what I need to say–I typically resort to analogies and the like, but I’m at a significant loss this time. The unexpected loss of my sweet infant granddaughter has left an indelible mark on me, and I’m still wending my way along life’s path. As a parent, and specifically a mother, I have always strived to fix things in my child’s life. When fixing is not an option, I spiral into places that have no visible exit sign, and all I can do is fall down in expectant silence before God. 

It’s been about eight months since I last wrote–much has taken place in this time. When I look back at the last post I’d written in June of last year, I am particularly smitten by the remarks regarding the potter and the clay–how sometimes the potter has to crush the clay because of some flaw and rework it from scratch. Little did I know of the crushing that was about to take place.

When I look back over these last eight months, I see God’s transforming power revealed in my son’s life. I’ve prayed, somewhat hesitantly, over the years that He will do whatever He must to draw my child closer to Him. I think every parent who has prayed this prayer does so with reservation because we know that it may require circumstances that we don’t want to see in our children’s lives, but nevertheless are necessary to the revelation of God’s will. 

I’ve seen a miraculous alteration in my son since this ordeal last summer. He has chosen to embrace his faith rather than bitterness at the loss of his infant daughter. I can’t even type these words without choking back the tears. God has taken ahold of my son’s life in ways I couldn’t even have imagined. My heart has broken for his pain and his wife’s pain and all of the hopes and desires tied into the entrance of a newborn life into this world only to have it wrenched abruptly away. 

I held my sweet baby granddaughter only once, the night before she went into the arms of Jesus at just two weeks old. When I think about those precious moments, I can’t articulate the emotions that flood over my soul. I still keenly feel the pain, and I know my children must deal with it daily, and likely every moment of every day. There’s a powerlessness that overwhelms me, leaving no option but to continue to fall down at the feet of Jesus and ask Him to continue to carry them (and me) forward. 

They are now expecting another baby girl. I long to feel the exhilaration of expectancy and anticipation of last year at this time, but it’s tainted, of course. I can’t articulate an analogy to what I feel because there’s nothing parallel to which to compare these mixed emotions. I am resolved to embrace the excitement of a new life joining us once again, however, consciously choosing to be elated rather than wallowing in worry. I must accept that God’s love is constant regardless of the circumstances of this life, and observing how my son has so dramatically changed through this time fuels my faith to keep moving forward. So I’m continuing to write to my expected granddaughter; she will need to know about her family’s faith amidst the most devastating events in life. 

I’d left off at “N” in the children’s book of Bible verses. 1 Corinthians 15:20 says, “(Now) Christ has indeed been raised from the dead, the firstfruits of those who have fallen asleep.” This verse expresses the basics of our faith–all of it depends on the fact that Christ rose from the dead. The second half of this verse refers to those who have already “fallen asleep.” Because God raised Jesus from the dead, He has paved the way for us to join Him in Heaven forever. I know I will see my precious Ariella again when I step over Heaven’s threshold one day, and I look forward with the greatest anticipation of meeting my next grandbaby in a few months.

“K” is for “Keep your tongue…”

by BetsyFaithPosted on No Comments

“Keep your tongue from evil, and your lips from speaking deceit.” –Psalm 34:13

Words are powerful. When people wield these weapons, they can use words to tear others apart or build them up to do great things. When I was a child, I remember hearing others say, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.” This is probably one of the most blatant misconceptions in existence. Words can leave some of the deepest scars known to mankind.

Predictably, it is the people we love the most who wield the most power when it comes to words. If someone we don’t know says something hateful to us, it’s much easier to ignore or overlook the comment rather than take it to heart. What do they know anyway? People who spew toxicity from their mouths obviously have much deeper wounds themselves that they are evading. On the other hand, when someone we care about deeply berates us or otherwise tears us down verbally, they inflict intense pain that can’t be easily remedied, and the receiver’s heart becomes an open wound. Conversely, a kind word or sincere encouragement can propel a person to a place of stability, peace, or even confidence to achieve the most in life.

Withstanding verbal abuse, particularly for children, is not easy; it is often coupled with emotional and mental abuse, and in very toxic situations, various levels of physical abuse. Speaking evil is connected to what is in our hearts. Matthew 15:18 states, “But the things that come out of the mouth come from the heart, and these things defile a man.” Another saying is, “Hurt people hurt people.” In other words, those who have been hurt tend to inflict hurt on others. This corresponds with the sentiment that “Misery loves company.” People often lash out verbally as a defense mechanism to protect themselves or to hurt someone else before someone else can hurt them. Sin begets sin; the hurt lives on and multiplies. 

In order to “Keep your tongue from evil,” whether generated from someone else’s words or your own thoughts, you may have to address a deep-rooted problem in your life. Maybe you have been able to suppress those hateful words from escaping your lips, but you are inundated with the corresponding thoughts. I tend to reflect on the origin of such thoughts, like “Why is this making me so upset?” or “Why does this person’s comment have such power over me?” Focusing on the truth of the Word of God is the only foundation for finding not necessarily answers, but peace. 

Please don’t mistake my meaning; I am not saying I’m exempt from this vice. I have wielded my own broken, hurtful shards at others on occasion throughout my life. In the process, however, I’ve learned I don’t ever want others to feel that pain if I can help it, and definitely not at my hand. I can’t protect all the people I care about from ever experiencing hateful words, but I endeavor to do all I can in adhering to this verse.

“F”–“For the wages of sin…”

by BetsyFaithPosted on No Comments

“For the wages of sin is death; but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.” –Romans 6:23

Wages–a payment, recompense, or reward. We usually think of a reward as something desirable or good, but in the context of this verse, the term is more synonymous with recompense, which has to do with paying a debt. This verse is my earliest recollection of learning the word, wages, and so for many years I only associated the term with paying for something I’d done wrong. The first clause in this verse is about as straightforward as can be; thankfully, it doesn’t end there. It really just states the reason why the second half is so critical–we’d have no hope were it not for the “gift of God” mentioned in part B.

A few chapters prior to this one in Romans (3:23), Paul wrote, “For all have sinned and come short of the glory of God.” This verse sets the stage for what Paul says here regarding the wages of sin. None of us are exempt from this consequence, and this is what makes our faith so relevant to everyone, though not everyone is willing to acknowledge the existence of sin or God or both. The premise that we are all sinful is blatantly obvious; just look anywhere in history and in current events, and most conspicuously, in our own hearts. We all are flawed; even the “best” person we know sins. 

So what about part B? What can we do about our dismal fate? WE can’t do anything ourselves, but God in His love for us provided a way out–a means of salvation. He gave His only Son to pay those wages we can’t pay. Jesus is the only one Who could pay this debt because He is sinless. Paul wrote in 2 Corinthians 5:21(NLT), “For God made Christ, who never sinned, to be the offering for our sin, so that we could be made right with God through Christ.” The challenging part for many of us is the concept that it’s a gift; the only way to salvation is accepting that gift. I pray even before you are born, little one, that you will accept this gift in your younger years, when childlike faith can open your heart to the most precious gift you will ever receive. 

Running from rejection…

by BetsyFaith, LifePosted on No Comments

“I can’t explain it. I know I shall probably never see him again. I cannot bear to think that he is alive in the world…and thinking ill of me.” Elizabeth Bennet, film adaptation of Jane Austen’s Pride & Prejudice

What if Elizabeth had never seen Mr. Darcy again? What if she had never humbled herself to thank him for his kindness because she was too afraid that he’d reject her? What a different story it would have been! I am well-acquainted with rejection; most people are. I have yet to run into anyone who loves experiencing it, though, for obvious reasons. No one wants to feel unneeded, unvalued, or unloved.

Although I don’t consider myself a fearful person, upon closer reflection, I find that I have made many decisions over the years based on an underlying fear of rejection. These were not usually major life decisions, but a subliminal training of my thought processes to shy away from situations where I could potentially experience rejection. The shift from avoiding rejection to avoiding human interaction is not far-fetched at all.

…“smallish” choices have somewhat backed me into a safe, albeit lonely, corner.

This type of thinking could easily have led to my complete withdrawal from society! However, I crave human interaction, so I began to reflect on why I seem to be less social at this point more than at any prior time in my life. What did I find? A long trail of “smallish” choices that have somewhat backed me into a safe, albeit lonely, corner. Such seemingly insignificant decisions as shopping online instead of entering an actual store or choosing an online course over a traditional educational setting have allowed me to avoid interacting with people in the “risky,” in-person fashion.

How anti-climatic and forgettable their stories would be without those moments!

Looking back, I have rationalized that choices such as these are just to make life easier–and they have, but at what cost? Technology does make life easier on many fronts, but it also allows us to hide from each other and avoid confrontation of actual feelings. I have to imagine if some of my favorite literary characters had avoided confrontation, how they might have behaved if they had the option to text instead of having a conversation. How anti-climatic and forgettable their stories would be without those moments! If Mr. Darcy had texted Elizabeth his proposal from the safety of his aunt’s mansion, we as readers would have been deprived of his appealing vulnerability and Elizabeth’s seemingly justified and abrasive refusal of him. In turn, we also would miss out on her humble confession of misjudgement and eventual change of heart toward Mr. Darcy.

Embrace life in all of its ups and downs! For God has not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind. 2 Timothy 1:7

How much richer our lives are because of these moments as well! I am not condoning looking for confrontation, but rather embracing life in all of its ups and downs. Technology has its place, but shouldn’t be a tool for enabling fear. For God has not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind. 2 Timothy 1:7