“L” is for “Look to Me…”

by BetsyFaithPosted on No Comments

“Look to Me, and be saved, all you ends of the earth! For I am God, and there is no other.” –Isaiah 45:22

I have just come through yet another time of transition in my life–for nearly three months I have been “homeless” as I’ve had to rely on the generosity of friends and family for the roof over my head. After conceding to the fact that my renovated home was not ready when my apartment lease ran out, I initially approached this time with energy and optimism thinking that I’d be in my house in a couple of weeks…but as the weeks wore on, my momentum wore out. If I’d known in the beginning that I still wouldn’t be settled three months later, I don’t know how I would have survived. Sometimes it’s better not to know what lies ahead.

Isaiah 45:22–This verse reminds me of when Moses erected the bronze snake on the pole in Numbers 21. The Israelites had been murmuring against the Lord, and consequently had been smitten with a plague of poisonous serpents. They eventually confessed their sin and begged Moses to intercede with the Lord on their behalf. “Then the LORD said to Moses, ‘Make a fiery serpent and mount it on a pole. When anyone who is bitten looks at it, he will live.’ So Moses made a bronze snake and mounted it on a pole. If anyone who was bitten looked at the bronze snake, he would live” (Numbers 21:8-9). The Lord is righteous; He demands justice for sin. He also is merciful; He provides a way through the consequences of sin–but we first have to repent.

This Old Testament event must have been momentous to say the least. Imagine a plague of snakes overtaking society as we know it, with no reprieve, and knowing that we had brought it on ourselves…hmmm–could that happen in modern times? Maybe not snakes, but contemplate the metaphor. Back to the point I’m trying to make: we often do not see a problem transformed instantaneously like this moment when God provided a means of remedy for the horrible situation; it is enough to know that He can. Most of the time, we are plagued by problems that drag on for days, weeks, months, or even years. If there is no bronze snake to look to, how do we cope? How do we wake up every morning and press on?

This question brings me to the principle upon which I have been meditating over the past three months. “Give us this day our daily bread” has been on the lips of my mind nearly every day. I am reminded of how God provided manna for His people in the wilderness–just enough for the day at hand (Exodus 16:11-21). This concept has been difficult for me to accept as I’m sure it is for many others. I want to be prepared for the future; I want to know what to expect and not to be surprised by unanticipated problems. Yet, for 40 years the Lord provided for His people on a daily basis, and they came to expect His provision. I would hope that I wouldn’t take 40 years to learn to trust, but as I’m approaching 50, I realize that there are plenty of lessons with which I’m still wrestling. I’m still persevering to “Look to [the Lord]” as the verse states, and how not only to survive on His daily “manna,” but also how to hunger for it and thrive on it.

“K” is for “Keep your tongue…”

by BetsyFaithPosted on No Comments

“Keep your tongue from evil, and your lips from speaking deceit.” –Psalm 34:13

Words are powerful. When people wield these weapons, they can use words to tear others apart or build them up to do great things. When I was a child, I remember hearing others say, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.” This is probably one of the most blatant misconceptions in existence. Words can leave some of the deepest scars known to mankind.

Predictably, it is the people we love the most who wield the most power when it comes to words. If someone we don’t know says something hateful to us, it’s much easier to ignore or overlook the comment rather than take it to heart. What do they know anyway? People who spew toxicity from their mouths obviously have much deeper wounds themselves that they are evading. On the other hand, when someone we care about deeply berates us or otherwise tears us down verbally, they inflict intense pain that can’t be easily remedied, and the receiver’s heart becomes an open wound. Conversely, a kind word or sincere encouragement can propel a person to a place of stability, peace, or even confidence to achieve the most in life.

Withstanding verbal abuse, particularly for children, is not easy; it is often coupled with emotional and mental abuse, and in very toxic situations, various levels of physical abuse. Speaking evil is connected to what is in our hearts. Matthew 15:18 states, “But the things that come out of the mouth come from the heart, and these things defile a man.” Another saying is, “Hurt people hurt people.” In other words, those who have been hurt tend to inflict hurt on others. This corresponds with the sentiment that “Misery loves company.” People often lash out verbally as a defense mechanism to protect themselves or to hurt someone else before someone else can hurt them. Sin begets sin; the hurt lives on and multiplies. 

In order to “Keep your tongue from evil,” whether generated from someone else’s words or your own thoughts, you may have to address a deep-rooted problem in your life. Maybe you have been able to suppress those hateful words from escaping your lips, but you are inundated with the corresponding thoughts. I tend to reflect on the origin of such thoughts, like “Why is this making me so upset?” or “Why does this person’s comment have such power over me?” Focusing on the truth of the Word of God is the only foundation for finding not necessarily answers, but peace. 

Please don’t mistake my meaning; I am not saying I’m exempt from this vice. I have wielded my own broken, hurtful shards at others on occasion throughout my life. In the process, however, I’ve learned I don’t ever want others to feel that pain if I can help it, and definitely not at my hand. I can’t protect all the people I care about from ever experiencing hateful words, but I endeavor to do all I can in adhering to this verse.

Take me to church…

by BetsyFaith, ParentingPosted on No Comments

Recently, my young adult son relayed a conversation to me that he had had with an older adult male regarding attending church. They were discussing how they felt the need to be role models in their homes and be leaders when it comes to establishing habits like regular church attendance. I am thankful for the mature males in the church who have been role models for my son as he was growing up since there was no male role model in our home.

I still cringe for a moment when I hear a commotion in the next room because for years it was my son causing the disturbance.

As a single mother, it’s truly challenging to fulfill all of the needs of a child, and in my experience, particularly when it comes to spiritual roles. Although it wasn’t always what I wanted to do on Sunday morning, most of the time I packed up my son and his shenanigans and headed to church. He was always a handful, and to this day, I still cringe for a moment when I hear a commotion in the next room because for years it was my son causing the disturbance. My church family was gracious to us, however, and though I always felt terrible for my child’s behavior, they came along side of us and continued to encourage and support us week after week.

Despite the distractions and the frustrations, I continued to take him to church, hoping that doing so would eventually bear fruit. I kept going back to the Word, reading where it exhorts Christians not to forsake assembling together (Hebrews 10:25) and to train up children in the right direction (Proverbs 22:6). These are long-term, seed-planting acts that don’t necessarily reveal their worth in the short-term, but as my son has entered adulthood, I have begun to see the positive results of raising him in the church.

…we embrace the fact that Christ died to redeem us from our sins, we repent, and we are consequently forgiven.

It isn’t to say that every young person raised in the church avoids trouble. I honestly didn’t know if we were going to survive my son’s teen years. Without going into too much detail, I’ll just say that red Gatorade mixed with vodka has stained my living room carpet, and I’ve had conversations with the police regarding the paintballing of one of their cruisers, just to name a couple memorable moments. Life certainly isn’t perfect because we’re Christians, and we go to church. We make mistakes like everyone else. In addition, we embrace the fact that Christ died to redeem us from our sins, we repent, and we are consequently forgiven.

It’s about the importance of building one another up and being accountable as we worship together.

It’s never been the case that going to church saves one’s soul or prevents anything from going awry throughout the week. It’s about the importance of building one another up and being accountable as we worship together. During those periods of my life when I have gotten out of the habit of attending, however, I have witnessed a general falling off of my own constructive habits for not necessarily destructive ones, but definitely for less constructive ones. Being consistent in attendance helps me to stay on track in my Christian walk, and I know now that it has had a positive impact on my son’s life.

Seeking the Source

by BetsyFaithPosted on No Comments

Several years ago, I read that I would have to walk the entire length of a football field to burn off the calories from eating one M&M. If that ratio is even remotely accurate, it has had a profound effect on my eating habits, or at least the thought process that I embark upon before indulging in something decadent. Then it becomes a test of my mathematical skills and how many treats I can justify enjoying.

I have recently started working out at a gym to combat the effects of a myriad of M&M’s and other sweets that are my weakness. Forcing myself to focus on some rarely used muscles has brought some realizations to light. Over the years, I have injured myself periodically. I have broken my right elbow and my right ankle, and unrelatedly, the only teeth in my mouth that have issues are on the right side. I think it probably has something to do with my left brain being so controlling, and perhaps subconsciously trying to protect the other side. (I am posing like a thinking emoji at this point).

It’s strange to think that even after all those years, not only my body retains the memory of the injury, but my mind obviously plays a part in how I respond to it.

Although some might say it is coincidental, I believe there is more to it than happenstance. For example, I have noticed that when I work out I tend to tense up unrelated parts of my body. When I do bicep curls, for some reason I tense my left leg. In response to this realization, I began intentionally relaxing my leg when I do this exercise, but it has taken some serious focus for me to do so. In addition, when I do hamstring curls, my left leg tries to take over and do the bulk of the work. Now, this motion seems more obvious–my right leg spent some time incapacitated years ago when I broke that ankle, so my left leg tries to bear the weight, literally.

It’s strange to think that even after all those years, not only my body retains the memory of the injury, but my mind obviously plays a part in how I respond to it. Although I continue to rewire my thoughts to equalize my workout, I don’t seem to be making much progress. Habits supposedly take about a month of repetition to form, but I don’t go to the gym everyday, so I don’t seem to be changing how I respond.

Deciphering why I respond in a certain way to an impetus has helped me to make progress in other areas, or at least understand myself a little better.

Honestly, I’m none the worse for wear in that respect. Sure, one side of my body is always going to be stronger, but that’s not uncommon. This entire realization ultimately led to a deeper one. The injuries I have sustained emotionally and mentally are substantially ingrained in my mind as well, and probably much more detrimental than any physical compensation I have made. Have you ever asked yourself, “Why do I get angry when…?” or “Why do I always seem to…?” Deciphering why I respond in a certain way to an impetus has helped me to make progress in other areas, or at least understand myself a little better. For example, I began asking myself, “Why do I still feel compelled to eat everything on my plate even though I’m often full beforehand?” On the surface, I know that being forced to clean my plate when I was growing up has had an impact on my eating habits to this day. But there’s more to it than the obvious.

Upon deeper reflection, I realized I had connected performance to acceptance by certain people in my life, and somehow, eating everything on my plate was a standard I strove to meet daily for years in the subliminal hopes that I would be worthy of acceptance. This went on for years, not just 30 days. Such an established habit is difficult to undo, especially with the performing for acceptance piece woven within, through and around it. This is just one example. I have response mechanisms in place for so many aspects of my life–as all of us do. I try to address the ones that have had the most substantial negative effects.

Believing that His grace is sufficient removes the onus to “fix” everything that is awry and rest in the knowledge that He is strong and in control despite my weakness.

In 2 Corinthians 12:9, God promises “My grace is sufficient for you, for my strength is made perfect in weakness.” He doesn’t say He will perfect us here on earth; this isn’t heaven. His strength is perfected in weakness. These everyday struggles–food, acceptance, rejection, whatever fills in the blank–are the means of God weaving His strength into our lives. This beautiful enigma is both challenging and comforting. Believing that His grace is sufficient removes the onus to “fix” everything that is awry and rest in the knowledge that He is strong and in control despite my weakness. I can’t mess up His plan. Sure, I have made some poor choices, but His grace is still sufficient. I have failed to break bad habits–His grace is still sufficient. I will strive to instill the habit of relying on Him in all things–His grace is always sufficient.