“Keep your tongue from evil, and your lips from speaking deceit.” –Psalm 34:13
Words are powerful. When people wield these weapons, they can use words to tear others apart or build them up to do great things. When I was a child, I remember hearing others say, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.” This is probably one of the most blatant misconceptions in existence. Words can leave some of the deepest scars known to mankind.
Predictably, it is the people we love the most who wield the most power when it comes to words. If someone we don’t know says something hateful to us, it’s much easier to ignore or overlook the comment rather than take it to heart. What do they know anyway? People who spew toxicity from their mouths obviously have much deeper wounds themselves that they are evading. On the other hand, when someone we care about deeply berates us or otherwise tears us down verbally, they inflict intense pain that can’t be easily remedied, and the receiver’s heart becomes an open wound. Conversely, a kind word or sincere encouragement can propel a person to a place of stability, peace, or even confidence to achieve the most in life.
Withstanding verbal abuse, particularly for children, is not easy; it is often coupled with emotional and mental abuse, and in very toxic situations, various levels of physical abuse. Speaking evil is connected to what is in our hearts. Matthew 15:18 states, “But the things that come out of the mouth come from the heart, and these things defile a man.” Another saying is, “Hurt people hurt people.” In other words, those who have been hurt tend to inflict hurt on others. This corresponds with the sentiment that “Misery loves company.” People often lash out verbally as a defense mechanism to protect themselves or to hurt someone else before someone else can hurt them. Sin begets sin; the hurt lives on and multiplies.
In order to “Keep your tongue from evil,” whether generated from someone else’s words or your own thoughts, you may have to address a deep-rooted problem in your life. Maybe you have been able to suppress those hateful words from escaping your lips, but you are inundated with the corresponding thoughts. I tend to reflect on the origin of such thoughts, like “Why is this making me so upset?” or “Why does this person’s comment have such power over me?” Focusing on the truth of the Word of God is the only foundation for finding not necessarily answers, but peace.
Please don’t mistake my meaning; I am not saying I’m exempt from this vice. I have wielded my own broken, hurtful shards at others on occasion throughout my life. In the process, however, I’ve learned I don’t ever want others to feel that pain if I can help it, and definitely not at my hand. I can’t protect all the people I care about from ever experiencing hateful words, but I endeavor to do all I can in adhering to this verse.