anxiety Archives - Not far from the tree

But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not consider his appearance or his height…The Lord does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.” 1 Samuel 16:7

I’ve been struck lately how much people are affected by technology. I find myself longing for the days before my smart phone, the days when I couldn’t imagine why I would need such a device. Yet, here I am, looking at my friends’ “stories,” shopping for everything from boots to cat food, and yes, even playing games. How I managed to comparison shop and travel and communicate before this handy device, I only vaguely recall.

They now can compare themselves and their accomplishments or lack thereof to basically the entire world. No pressure there.

I look at my son’s generation and wonder how they can even imagine life without technology. With all of its convenience, one might think that life should be easier in general, but the ease it presents is really only surface deep. I have to wonder at how rampant chronic depression and anxiety fit into this equation. For so many young people, there’s more than just the old “keeping up with the Jones’” on their street. They now can compare themselves and their accomplishments or lack thereof to basically the entire world. No pressure there.

Some studies have shown that there are some positive effects of technology for adolescents–like providing a means to connect with others, which gives some the support they need to deal with their problems and feel like someone out there knows them and what they are going through. I get it. I’ve felt that way many times, and utilizing social media groups and text chains helps me get through some hard days. On the flip side, however, especially for adolescents who may not have stability in their home lives or friendships, searching for purpose and identity online can be destructive, or even dangerous.

“Some studies suggest that there are positive aspects of online technology, especially in providing opportunities for youth to develop and maintain a sense of connectedness in an online environment, while other studies suggest that young people’s use of online technology creates the opposite and leads to feelings of loneliness, depression and social anxiety, and creates mental health challenges among adolescents.” https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s40894-015-0013-9

Although it’s rather easy to paint a picture of oneself online that appears to be content and stable, it’s really only a matter of time before that facade breaks down. The discontent, loneliness, self-loathing, or whatever insecurity plagues someone will eventually bleed through. The scary part is that often the signs are vague or unclear, and some people resort to extremes without ever getting the help they need. Only the Lord knows what’s in the heart; I pray for my friends and family, and myself, for wisdom in navigating these deep waters.

I wrote about having patience last time, but I feel compelled to address the opposite circumstance, as well. Sometimes life moves fast, and there’s the necessity to adapt quickly. In my experience, some of the valuable lessons I’ve learned in the long periods of waiting have helped me to respond more adequately in the times of adjustment.

Establish priorities

…having a “big picture” view of life helps in weighing those decisions, large or small, and making the most fitting choice.

When I’ve been faced with circumstances that demanded a somewhat immediate response in the past, I typically weighed the effects of my possible decisions based on my family, my career, and my home, in that order. Now that I’m in a different phase of life, I have adjusted my priorities slightly to fit my current circumstances. It isn’t always easy to make decisions on the fly, but having a “big picture” view of life helps in weighing those decisions, large or small, and making the most fitting choice.

Remain calm

“People who maintain that calm mental outlook…can see beyond the chaos and find a solution.” *

Regardless of the caliber of the decision at hand, I have found that remaining calm is always the best option. Whether the fork in the road could lead to an optimal career position versus a terrible work environment, or just the difference between a literal walk in the park versus a day at the lake, keeping a level head has always served me well. As I have gotten older, I am less likely to get rattled easily. When I have felt anxious in the past, I typically have been able to survive and overcome by relying on my faith. I realize that many people struggle with anxiety, especially when presented with a difficult decision, but that does not diminish the effects of staying calm. In fact, those who suffer from such afflictions reap the benefits of seeking out ways to keep their peace amidst stressful situations. “People who maintain that calm mental outlook while in the middle of a chaotic situation can see beyond the chaos and find a solution.” *(https://www.careeraddict.com/5-reasons-why-staying-calm-under-pressure-will-make-you-successful)

Move forward

Reliving moments in my past that I’d rather forget only brings distress and discontent.

My mantra over the last several months has been, “I cannot mess up His plan.” This wasn’t a New Year’s resolution or any type of contemplated life statute. It developed over time and surfaced in my mind at just the right moment. Having to make multiple decisions regarding the future of my career and my life in general during this past year, I have come to the conclusion that looking back for wisdom or nostalgia has its place, but that’s about it. Reliving moments in my past that I’d rather forget only brings distress and discontent. Even decisions I’ve made recently, including jobs I’d rather have not endured, have been at the very least, learning experiences. Whatever I glean from these unpleasant events becomes part of the fabric of my life going forward, but it doesn’t define my future.

Even when my plans don’t play out the way I think they should, I have to keep moving forward, not wasting time on regret or “what if I had done whatever” scenarios.

After years of waiting for the doors to open for a major life and career change, I have adopted a peace that defies common sense, that surpasses understanding (those of you who share like faith will recognize that phrase!). It hasn’t been through any plan of my own, but it has come about through all of the varied experiences in my life—intelligent design, no doubt, and far more complex than any ideas I could concoct. In Isaiah 55:9, it says, “For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts.” I don’t have to understand how or why life plays out as it does; I use my God-given free will to make choices, and I reap the benefits as well as the consequences. Even when my plans don’t play out the way I think they should, I have to keep moving forward, not wasting time on regret or “what if I had done whatever” scenarios. I have to say now, though I couldn’t see it at the time, that I’m thankful for all those years of preparation for the multitude and magnitude of changes that have made up these last twelve months of my life!

Tag: anxiety

The Balancing Act