“Draw near to God, and He will draw near to you.” –James 4:8
This verse seemed so attainable to me as a child; I remember having such a simple faith that allowed me to just accept that I could pray anytime, anywhere, and He would hear me. I had no doubt that I had His complete and unwavering attention. As I got older, though, and life began to reveal its undesirable potential, I often found myself drawing closer to other things–not to my loving, sovereign God.
Several years ago when I was studying to become a teacher, I remember being introduced to a graphic organizer for learning about analogies, and one of the concepts for students to consider about an idea was “what it is not.” In other words, exploring the concepts that may seem to correspond with the chosen idea, but in reality are anything from a close misconception to a complete opposite of the desired concept. I have since pondered applying this idea of “what it is not” to walking by faith. If I’m not drawing near to God, then I’m drawing near to something He is not–either something I don’t perceive as bad and often unintentionally replacing Him in my life, or something completely wrong that is counterproductive to everything He wants for me in my life.
This idea also corresponds with being grateful–when I focus on what I have and the many blessings I have enjoyed and continue to enjoy and look forward to enjoying, I experience a peace and contentment that is not common in this life, though it is always there if I just choose it. When I focus on what is not there, i.e. what I don’t have and continually long for, I am miserable and prone to live in a perpetual state of dissatisfaction. It seems a basic concept, yet I’ve struggled with keeping the priorities of my focus in order! My challenge to you, my sweet blessing of a grandchild, is to cling to your childlike faith throughout life. Be encouraged that we all struggle, yet God is always near, whether we “feel” it or not.
Now for a real-life example: I pray every week for guidance in what to write to you, and this morning prior to the church service, there was the usual scrolling of pictures on the screens while people were getting seated. One of those pictures was of a group of preschoolers in a classroom, some of them with their arms raised and all with smiles on their faces. I immediately was transported back about ten years to a time when I was helping out in a nursery at a church I’d attended for many years. A little boy about three years old was chatting up a storm in the next room over, and his voice sounded so much like my little boy had sounded at that age that I suddenly found myself overwhelmed, and unwelcomed hot tears streamed down my cheeks. I withdrew to the restroom to pull myself together because I didn’t want people to know how much I had yearned for more babies, to experience family in all of its wonderfulness. I’d struggled so long to accept that this long-held desire was apparently not God’s plan for me. It was easy to traipse down this road toward self-pity and wallow in my pain.
But God (there’s that phrase again…) had given me this incredible son to raise, and though I couldn’t always see it at the time, raising him brought me such contentment and fulfillment in my life that I didn’t always appreciate my situation as much as I wish I had back then. Looking back now, I can see the blessing he was to me, and God knew what He was doing. God always knows what He is doing. I constantly try to get back to that place of childlike faith and draw near to God–letting go of how I think things should be and accepting how He has orchestrated them. It’s a journey; I am grateful that He has brought me through that vulnerability to a stability that only He can give. That is only one of the many long-term shifts in perspective through which He has guided me; I hope to share many more with you in the months and years to come.