As I recently watched a popular reality show on television, I was struck by how many contestants shared about pursuing their dreams but had no faith that they could ever attain them. After a few of them shared heartbreaking stories from their past, I was amazed as was anyone watching that these young people had overcome such obstacles to perform for the world. But it didn’t stop there. Contestant after contestant humbly approached the stage and shared some of the most amazing talent in the world. Their humility was endearing, but the fact that people in many of their lives had undermined, belittled and berated them was devastating. When someone with an angelic voice doesn’t realize the caliber of his or her talent, there is most definitely something awry. I began to wonder, Whose approval were you unable to achieve? Who told you that you were good for nothing? Who said you would never amount to anything?
…everything we say or write has an impact on someone.
As someone who knows what it’s like to struggle with self-worth, I can honestly say that words are truly powerful in shaping how we see ourselves. I don’t think anyone would disagree with that, but I want to draw awareness to the fact that practically everything we say or write has an impact on someone. I have been on the receiving end of derogatory comments as most of us have at some point in our lives, hateful words that were hurled in anger due to someone else’s own inner struggle.
Whatever sin has been committed against us should not be allowed to crush someone else’s spirit, especially a child’s.
As a child, I took such comments very personally, which had a profound impact on how I viewed myself; I had no comprehension that every one of us has something broken within us that we typically express in some fashion, and not often positively. Proverbs 15:4 says, “The soothing tongue is a tree of life, but a perverse tongue crushes the spirit.” Whatever sin has been committed against us should not be allowed to crush someone else’s spirit, especially a child’s.
…nothing I could do was going to change how other people behaved.
There seems to be an ever-growing need for people to express themselves by the most obnoxious means possible, and often just for the sake of being obnoxious. In my introduction to psychology class back in college, I remember learning that anger is a secondary emotion; it is spawned by fear, pain, angst, or whatever brokenness lurks within one’s soul. Whenever I experienced the hurt from a verbal attack, I took it to heart; I developed the mindset shaped by my thoughts: There must be something wrong with me. I will try harder, so people won’t get mad at me. I will earn their approval. Of course, nothing I could do was going to change how other people behaved. But children don’t know that.
No more excuses. Stop the cycle. Identify the root cause. Address the problem. Finding a healthy means of dealing with our own baggage isn’t easy, and unfortunately, I see more people today lashing out at others like I’ve never witnessed in my lifetime. Of course, the introduction of social media has empowered even the most reserved introvert to take to the public page what would rarely be said to one’s face. Some say this behavior is therapeutic. I am sure it is…but for whom? And at what cost? How about getting a notebook? Journaling has been shown to be therapeutic, and the rest of the world doesn’t have to be affected by the fallout.
…they each have value, they have a purpose in life, and they can achieve their dreams.
I’ve seen a meme in recent years that refers to the positive effects of speaking kindly to plants and how impactful it would be if we intentionally spoke positively to children. Imagine the confidence this next generation could take into their future if they were brought up to believe that they each have value, that they have a purpose in life, and that they can achieve their dreams. Perhaps there’d be fewer lives lost to addiction and more cures for diseases discovered. It seems like an indomitable task to turn the tide, but maybe if we start by sincerely encouraging a child, or anyone really, even once a day, each pebble of praise would cause a ripple that could change someone’s life.