“M” is for “My sheep hear my voice”

“My sheep hear my voice; I know them, and they follow me.” –John 10:27

I raised sheep for about ten years. Whenever I would approach the barn, I’d call out their names, and they would come running and bleating toward me. Sometimes I’d be singing or talking to myself as I approached, and they would still come running and bleating. They knew my voice. They would follow me if I was walking across the pasture or along the fence or into the barn, whether I was there to feed them or not.

It’s challenging for me to think about this verse from the speaker’s perspective. I have a tendency to get distracted by what it is I’m listening to or whom I am following. That is why I find it helpful to revisit what I’d learned from raising sheep. Those animals would hear me and follow, no questions asked–that is, of course, if they could ask. Throughout the Bible, we are often compared to sheep, and often it is not for flattering reasons. But when I think of how this verse is phrased, it is more about our role as followers of Christ and our relationship with Him. 

There are times I feel like I’m struggling to figure out what I’m supposed to do, what path to take, what decision to make–I’m struggling to hear His voice. I’m in a season like that right now. I’ve often tried to decipher the big picture, to understand the purpose of what is happening. Most of the time I have no resolution, and I have to continue forward in faith that God is the master of my journey in this world though I’m stumbling along blindly. I’ve allowed my mind to descend into the depths of discouragement and heard my own voice taunting me with accusations that I’ve made irrevocable mistakes, and anything I believed was the goodness of God was really only a coincidence.  It’s truly exhausting.

The concept of hearing His voice and knowing Him used to seem so straightforward to me, but I’ve allowed myself to become jaded on many levels. I’ve struggled with bitterness. I’ve come to the end of myself, which is where He is able to make the most progress in my life. When a potter molds clay, he applies significant pressure. Jeremiah 18:4 says, “But the jar he was making did not turn out as he had hoped, so he crushed it into a lump of clay again and started over.” Some versions use the phrase that the jar “developed a flaw” or was “spoiled” in the hands of the potter. Whatever the cause, the idea of being crushed to be reshaped cannot be without a significant level of discomfort. 

I tend to operate on the premise that everything has to be status quo in order for me to move forward. I’ve been stuck in a state of limbo for so long now, I don’t recall what the old status quo looked like. People often say enjoy the journey and don’t let circumstances dictate your contentment or lack thereof. Of course, it’s easier said than done. Though a resolution isn’t in sight and I’m nearing the end of myself, I have no choice but to cast all of the cares, anxiety, disappointment, and whatever else is in the pile on the Lord. This is faith; sometimes the testing really pushes me to acknowledge the basics of my faith. I have to believe it’s for a purpose and walk on even when I can’t hear His voice, following Him because He loves me, He knows me, and He is my shepherd.